Borgardt's weekly column; Desplaines Valley News

Bear Down Chicago Sunday Afternoons
Nothing in the wide world of sports has been as remarkable as the unlikely wins achieved by the Bears this year. No matter how much they screw up, they always come up on top. Despite hailing as the turnover kings of the National Football league, they have managed to string together a winning-streak unsupported by the thin talent of the team.

I Got News For Ya
Brookfield Zoo is studying walleyes. The zoo and government fish and wildlife experts implanted 12 transmitters into the delicious fish Nov. 4.

Prosecute hard criminals, not reporters and government sources
That’s it people. I’m writing about the CIA leak case. I’ve waited this long. I can be silent no more. First of all, it has a lot of Chicago connections for such a national story. Two of the main characters in this plot are Chicago’s Robert Novak and Patrick Fitzgerald.

A Flying Turkey
This week’s mildly amusing column will be devoted to the wide world of outlandish news clips. For starters, I found this article in a New Mexico newspaper Oct. 19:

A Sign of the Times
It all started when I was walking into the office Tuesday morning. As I crossed the corner next to the library at 62nd and Archer, two large Illinois Department of Transportation trucks pulled up. One guy grabbed a wrench and walked toward two posted signs. One sign reads “one way” and the other steers motorists to the New Hope Baptist Church down the street at 7240 W. 62nd. I saw the workers were going to remove a sign and figured it was the traffic sign.

Bits of News
A scholarship fund, fishing hole stocked, movie review, police chief's son at the Pentagon and more.

A Quest for Coffee
I usually start the day with a cup of coffee. Morning coffee is bought at Dunkin Donuts, McDonalds or Burger King. At Dunkin Donuts, it’s always a medium coffee with cream and sugar. Perhaps Dunkin is my favorite coffee. The employees add the cream and sugar for you.
This is advantageous since it saves you the time bundling with little cups of cream, ripping small packets of sugar and disposing of this refuse along with the stirrer.

What will the future hold?
Jason and the crew of the Argo were the finest legendary explorers in human mythology. Jason snatched two fire-breathing bulls to plow Ares, zoomed past a immortal dragon and won the
golden fleece. This story celebrated the magic of discovery and adventure. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but great discoveries are still happening. Technological innovation has been the primary driving force of change in society and daily life and will continue to radically alter our lives as modern men continue to search for the golden fleece.

The Rise of Autism
In a frightening article in Rolling Stones magazine environmentalist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. investigates the rise of autism among American youth. He charges the striking rise in the neurological disease is due to the chemical Thimerosal in youth vaccines. Autism has increased from one case in every 2,500 children to one case per every 166 children.

Made in China
U.S. consumers are accustomed to ‘made in China’ labels but what happens when China starts buying up U.S. companies can be surprising. People in the manufacturing sector think a lot about China. The latest story surrounds Maytag.

Replace one business with another
Last week’s U.S. Supreme Court ruling expanding the power of eminent domain has put the fear of Bob back in local property owners. The 5-4 ruling officially permits local government to seize homes or businesses and replace them with other homes or businesses deemed more beneficial to the community.

Penny Antics
Last week, Soundoff from Summit was an eloquent reasoned plea to the U.S Treasury Secretary requesting the abolition of the penny. “What brought about this brave call for action?” ask my loyal readers.

Nix the Penny
Memo to the Secretary of the United States Treasury John Snow:
The time for action is now. I write this letter to press for movement on a matter of critical importance to the United States economy — the penny. I believe the Treasury Department should phase out the penny. This action would result in increased productivity and save the
taxpayer millions in production costs wasted by the mass production of this neglected coin.

Chicago's Skyline Trumped
For those of you interested in Chicago’s skyline, I attended a lecture presented by Skidmore, Owings & Merrill architects at the Chicago Cultural Center Sunday. They are building the 92-story Trump Tower at the site of the former Chicago Sun-Times building. The Sun-Times evacuated the building last fall and construction has since kicked into high gear.

What Time Is It?
Why does every modern appliance need a clock? When the power went out the other day, I had to re-program 6,206 digital clocks. The coffee machine, TV, CD player, tennis racquet and dog food dispenser all had to have their times reset. Even the clock had to be changed.

Eat and Drive Your Commute Away
Traffic. For those blessed with a penchant for complaining and commuting, traffic is the greatest woe of modern life. The way some people speak of the morning commute or the indignity of driving the kids to soccer practice, one would think the steering wheel was made of red-hot coals.

The Future of Television
“Television, a scientists dream ever since the telephone was invented half a century ago, became an actuality today when Secretary of Commerce Herbert Hoover spoke over the telephone in Washington and was seen as well as heard in New Jersey.” This is the leed of an April 8, 1927 Associated Press article.

Tech Tips: See Your House From Outer Space
The computer search engine Google has some neat new features that will keep wily web surfers searching late into the night. The two most amazing of these new features are Google Local and Google Maps.

Bits of News Column of April 21
Don't miss this week's column. It's a checklist of happenings for the week.

Name All 31 States
I wanted to write a book review on the title “Biography of Power; A History of Modern Mexico, 1810 - 1996” this week. However, the book is 869 pages. I’m only on page 236. Nonetheless, I’ve still learned enough to relay some interesting facts about the history of our fair neighbor to the south and would be remiss not to share my newfound knowledge with my fine readers.

Questions and Answers
Referendum, referendum and referendum. Once again, Suburban Cook County voters headed to the polls and were asked to settle big, bad questions of public dispute. They were also just as likely to be hit up for cash by local governments. Some passed and others failed.

The Name Game
The other day, a few people were talking politics in the newsroom. They were discussing the chances of a particular candidate on Election Day. A political gadfly commented a particular candidate has a great “ballot name” and will surely prevail April 5. Why is this “ballot name” important? Because most voters don’t know the issues or the candidates. They simply go to the polls and select the candidate with the neatest sounding name. Sound ridiculous? It’s not.

Devil in the White City
“The Devil in the White City,” by Eric Larson is a best-selling tutorial in historical nonfiction and a real page turner. The book is set in 1890’s Chicago. It tells two stories. The first is the story of the 1892 World’s Fair. This story is interspersed with the tale of suave mass murder Robert Holmes. He was credited with scores of killings during the time. Holmes ‘the devil’ was a doctor and shady businessman who lived near the fairgrounds.

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